Dad, why does it hurt so much to get hit in the balls?
[ chuckles ]
Boy, that's a good question. That's a damn good question.
What happened? You take a shot there?
No, not me -- some seventh grader at my school
got hit there playing dodge ball.
Boy, he didn't look happy. No, I'll bet he didn't.
I don't know.
I don't know why that hurts so much.
It's -- it's just one of nature's hazards, I guess.
God probably thought, since he made guys stronger than girls,
just to make it fair,
He added a secret way for them to hurt us.
Oh, they got lots of ways to hurt us, Albert, lots of ways.
[ both chuckle ]
Hey, you know what?
Check those tater tots for me, okay?
They should be done. Okay, sure.
All right?
And the doorbell's messed up,
so leave the front door open for Lucy.
[ sighs ]
They're ready. Who's that?
Hey, so this is the new --
[ sighs ]
Got the delivery guy from the store.
What's -- I don't know what he wants.
He probably messed up something.
Let me go see what he wants.
All right, watch that burger, okay?
That one's almost done.
[ sighs ]
♪ Men of a Certain Age 1x10 ♪ Back in the S#!t... ♪ when I grow up to be a man ♪
Original Air Date on February 22, 2010 ♪ will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid? ♪
♪ will I look back and say ♪
♪ that I wish I hadn't done what I did? ♪
♪ will I joke around? ♪ ♪ will I still joke around ♪
♪ and still dig those sounds ♪ ♪ and still dig those sounds ♪
♪ when I grow up to be a man? ♪
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.Com --
Come on. Keep going.
Joe, what's with the touching, man?
Listen, what the hell are you doing here?
Take it easy, Joe.
This place is a dick's throw from my house.
I'm right over on Castell Avenue, you lunatic.
Listen, I don't care what I owe you.
You -- you can't come over here, okay?
You just -- you don't come here.
You know, Joe, I'm not an idiot.
I would never tell the kid anything.
Figured I was saving us some trouble
coming by to settle up -- never again.
Around here, I'm a ghost.
All right. Good. Thank you.
Here, $1,800, right? Yeah.
Freakin' Cleveland, they -- ugh!
Yeah, they killed you. [ sniffs ]
Boy, those burgers smell great. Yeah.
Okay, you can't have any. I'm just -- you know.
You're all freakin' wound up today, Joe.
I'm under stress.
It's like a little pressure now with the new place.
I mean, it's a great place, but -- yeah, it's great,
especially 'cause you won the damn thing, right?
I won the down payment. That's all.
I -- I got to pay for it now.
I got to put furniture in it.
I still got to pay for the old house.
Divorce, Joe -- it's like marriage.
You don't have sex, only now it costs you twice as much.
Yeah. Yeah, funny.
Funny, I guess.
That is funny, right? Freakin' just made that up.
Yeah. That's some good shit.
Okay.
[ indistinct conversations ]
All right, guys.
Listen, you want me to check out? You holding on to the room?
Wow, a little louder, dude.
[ laughter ]
(Bobby) Hey, are you taking off, tea bag?
We were just about to do some drinking, man,
but don't worry about the room.
Oh, and you kicked ass, son.
You did. True.
Yeah, safe home.
Yeah, thanks. Thanks for everything, guys.
I'll walk you out. Come on, man.
Come on. Tea bag, tea bag.
Tony, three bottles of vodka. Yeah?
Dude, that was amazing.
You actually helped me make this film
Into something I don't hate, you know what I mean?
It's been a couple years since that happened.
Tell you what.
The director on this next thing is a piece of shit, too,
And I want to bring you on to ride him like you rode Tilburn.
I'd be delighted. Great.
Now, it's probably gonna be a couple months,
'cause we're gonna hang out, go to Cabo.
We're gonna get the script rewritten.
But, please, God damn it,
buy a cellphone so I can get ahold of you.
Yeah, yeah. All right. All right?
Yeah. All right, my man.
Come here, come here, come here. Whoa.
Yeah. You want a bottle for the road?
No, no -- driving.
You want a bottle for the road?
[ laughter ]
Okay. All right.
See you on the set, man.
Whoo! Let's get down, girls.
Why is your top still on, baby?
(Marcus) None of you should be smiling.
Yeah, we're ahead of last month, but bullshit.
Not good enough. Look at this.
Not as good as me, not as good as me, not as good as me.
Hey, come on.
Can I just be manager,
or do I have to do everything around here?
Okay, I need everyone to take it to an even higher level,
or heads are gonna roll.
♪ da da daa ♪
Anybody selling any cars today?
[ cheers and applause ]
Great to have you back, sir.
Mm-hmm.
Well, looks like you've been selling one for the Gipper.
Maybe I ought to go in the hospital more often, huh?
[ laughter ]
Now, I don't know what the difference is,
but I'm happy to be back two days a week.
Got to say that or the wife will have my head.
Now somebody get me a cup of that crappy coffee.
[ laughter ]
I know one big, fat difference, huh?
[ cheers and applause ]
You know me, guys. I'm a hard-ass.
Nothing would make me happier
than to stand up here and scream it up.
So why do you keep screwing me?
The economy is supposed to be in the toilet.
What's with you guys?
Mostly, what's with this guy, huh?
29 sales in the first three weeks for the big O.
Let's hear it.
I don't know how your old man let you get away.
He's got the same problem in business he had on the court -- too many turnovers.
[ laughter ] ooh.
Hey, I'm just kidding around. That's -- yeah, of course.
He's -- he's a great man...
and second-to-last in sales in the state.
[ laughter ]
[ sighs ]
Bobby, it's Terry.
Drove all night, and just got back in town...
calling you on my new cell.
And, uh, so, I guess...
my number's in your phone now, right?
I mean, you got it?
[ chuckles ]
Yeah, I know. I know. I'm a thousand years old.
Old and wise -- just remember that, huh?
So, anyway, you can call me... whenever.
You got it. Yeah, bye.
[ cellphone beeps ]
So I don't know where the hell you are,
and neither does anyone else,
and meanwhile the whole building is going to hell.
What did I tell you about the clean-out?
I had calls from six different tenants
talking about their toilets backing up into their showers.
And I told Elissa to pour drano down that thing every other day.
I mean, my God, you ask somebody to do something for you --
That is not her responsibility.
She doesn't live there for free, you do.
Okay, look, I know. All right?
I screwed up, and I'm sorry.
It's not like I was goofing off.
Okay? I was making a film with Bobby Nyland.
So you're a movie star now?
No, no, no, wait.
If you're a movie star,
then I need a new building manager.
Now, listen.
I need you to deal with that roto-rooter guy today.
And then I need you to go down... Okay.
... and talk to the city about that fence thing.
Yeah, all right, well, listen, the thing is I was on the road all night.
I was driving, you know?
If I could just catch a n...
Today -- you got it.
And I'm telling you,
I get one more complaint about the plumbing,
and you're gonna be in the toilet, okay?
- Do you got it? - Yeah.
I'm gonna be flushingyou... Yes.
... right down the drain.
I absolutely understand what you're saying.
Are we gonna have grandma's cake now?
Not yet. Yeah, we're gonna wait on daddy.
But why don't you guys go play while we're waiting, huh?
Does he know it's your birthday, grandma?
Of course he does, sweetie.
And I'm sure he'll be here any minute.
Go ahead. Go on.
Go on, go on, go on, go on.
I -- you know, he said 5:30. I'm sorry.
Don't even worry about it.
Yeah, it's fine, Melissa, just fine.
Can I play till there's cake, too?
You -- you can help me clear this table.
I can do that.
Retirement sure does agree with you.
MElissa, for the first time in my life, I feel unburdened.
I go in for my couple of days,
drink a little coffee, look over the board,
and whatever the hell else is going on is Marcus's problem.
Maybe I'm fooling myself, but I feel damn good.
Well, that sounds good to me.
Hey, I-I'm sorry.
Oh, mommy, I'm -- I'm sorry.
I got caught between two customers,
and then both of them had financing problems.
I had to call this one guy's bank.
Oh, it's all right.
I'm just glad that you're here.
[ sighs ] Happy birthday.
Mmm. Mmm. Thank you.
Hey, daddy.
Son. It's been a while.
Yeah, it's good to see you. Can I -- yeah, yeah, yeah, go on, sit down.
We're just about to have grandma's cake,
but there's plenty of food.
Two ups at the same time, huh?
Economy must be coming back.
Yep, I think so, I think so.
Things good over there?
Oh, very good. Lawrence got 20 deals on the board.
Lawrence? That boy can't sell a bone to a dog.
I don't know.
Marcus has got him really motivated.
Okay, okay, he's scared to death.
[ laughter ]
Okay, look, we can't all pretend like nothing's going on,
So let me just put this to rest.
I am okay with Owen leaving my store.
I know you got this idea that you got to be your own man,
and I -- I respect that.
Thanks, daddy. That means a lot.
Heard you're really tearing them up over there.
Oh, can't complain.
Yeah, I know how that is.
Kind of reminds me of my NBA days --
There'd be this end-of-the-bench guy,
gets traded,
Next time he comes through town,
he lights us up for 35 points.
Hmm.
Spite can be a powerful motivator.
I'm not doing this to spite you.
Come on, son, you're at Scarpulla,
the only other Chevy dealer in the zip code.
You tell me that's not spite working.
Daddy, of course I'm at a Chevy dealership.
That's what I know how to sell.
Sure, now. Yeah, now.
Now that I found a place to work
where I can actually enjoy myself, yeah.
Oh, so you're enjoying yourself over there now, is that it?
Daddy, I'm loving every minute of it.
Still packing it away, I see.
Let me tell you something, old man.
♪ happy birthday to you ♪
Okay, so this weekend,
it looks like Michael's game is at 10:00.
And... [ chuckles ]
of course, Jamie's game starts at 1:00 --
Just enough time so we can't come home in between.
I mean, who makes these damn schedules?
Yeah, I-I'm not gonna be able to make, um... all that.
Oh, honey, come on.
I can't be doing a 5-hour block of baseball
by myself with the baby
and the boys all wired on juice boxes
and then trying to find some lunch.
Come on, no.
I-I'm sorry. I mean, look, I'm the new guy.
I can't start off asking for Saturdays off right away.
You know, I... Well...
And you're happy there, right?
Okay, I might have, um, e-embellished
a little bit in front of my father,
but if I'm gonna be stuck selling cars,
yeah, I'd rather be at Scarpulla.
Really? Mm-hmm.
You'd rather be at the place
where you have to work your way from the bottom,
miss baseball and all sorts of family stuff --
Okay, what are you trying to say? Well --
You're agreeing with him that I'm doing this out of spite?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I am agreeing with someone I always disagree with.
Doesn't that tell you something?
Uh, yeah, that you're both wrong, right?
The Scarpulla job is just better.
Right? First of all, I like the boss.
The boss that wouldn't let you go home
for your mother's birthday?
You're wrong.
And -- and -- and --
and I'll be at the damn baseball.
Good.
Wow.
This stupid...
[ door opens ] Jingle, jingle.
Oh, hey, Elissa.
Hello.
Wanted to give you back the keys to the kingdom.
How'd it go with Bobby Nyland? Was it awesome?
It was awesome, till I came home
and found my apartment padlocked.
Oh, yeah, what was going on there?
You didn't do what I asked you to do. That's what was going on there.
The whole plumbing system fell apart.
Oh.
Damn it. Oh.
That was a mess, by the way.
I had poopy in my shower.
I did do the drano thing a couple times.
But then this guy I know, Matthew, this writer guy --
he was shooting this webisode,
and one of his actors spaced, so he asked me to fill in.
Then they had no clue what they were doing.
It was a nightmare. Ugh!
It sucks so hard being an actor.
[ sighs ]
Anyway, I got back in. That's cool.
Where's, uh, your girlfriend?
Oh, yeah, looks like we're taking a break.
Oh.
I have been there.
Remind me to tell you about Lance sometime.
No, I did -- I did press "okay,"
you stupid piece of shit.
Do you have any pot?
Tomorrow, I'm gonna take you to my favorite brunch place.
It's like a '50s-diner place,
but the waiters all play different characters.
It sounds stupid, but I swear it's fun.
[ sighs ]
Do you want to do it again?
I'm pretty sleepy.
Not me.
[ giggles ]
Ohh, shit.
Shit!
Damn it!
Everything okay?
[ sighs ] Yeah. Yeah, go.
Hey, Carlos, can you come here for a second?
Listen, um...
Um...
Maria, could you come here for a second?
Yeah.
Can you just -- just translate something for me?
Sure.
Yeah, just tell him -- uh, tell Carlos --
Uh, just tell him that, right now,
things are really tough around here,
and we -- we have to make some changes.
Are you firing him?
Just please -- just tell him that, please.
[ speaking spanish ]
Oh.
Right, and now, um, tell him
that starting next week, I have to, uh --
I have to lay him off.
But I will try to hire him back as soon as I can.
[ speaking spanish ]
Yeah.
That -- you told him that I'll try to get him back, right, as soon as I can?
Yeah. Yeah.
Carlos, I'm sorry.
I'm really -- I'm sorry.
Can you tell him -- tell him that I'm really sorry?
I don't think he understands. It's okay.
Thank you for... every day.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you, Carlos.
Why don't you take lunch now?
[ groans ]
What's up, buttercup?
Hey.
Hey, uh, you hungry?
I'm gonna -- I'm gonna run out.
Uh, you -- you want something?
Uh, half-caf skinny chai latte, please.
Oh, hey, what's your cell?
I'll put it in my phone.
Uh, you know, that -- that -- that's funny.
I just got mine yesterday, so I don't even know the number.
Oh. But, you know, I mean,
you just live on the other side of the courtyard.
That's right.
Uh-oh.
[ giggling ]
[ sighs ]
Jeremy!
[ clears throat ]
Hi.
Hey, look who's back. What can I get you?
Actually, just a large black coffee,
And I also need a...
Just a large black coffee.
Uh, it's funny.
You know, I just -- just got back into town,
and I'm kind of in a -- just keep the change -- a daze,
and, you know, I totally forgot
that you would -- I mean, I knew that you would be here.
Look, I'm -- I know that we ended badly.
And I'm -- I'm sorry about that.
But, you know, we never --
I mean, I guess we -- we really...
Um...
if it's any consolation,
the movie went really well,
and I'm gonna be working with Bobby again.
So I... [ sighs ]
Uh... And hey, look at this.
I got a cellphone.
Great.
So, um, I just -- just hope
that we can still be f-friends.
Dick!
I just... Large black coffee for Dick!
That's yours.
Dick!
Yeah, th-thanks. That's -- that's mine.
[ chuckles ]
Every day's a celebration at Joe's Party Depot.
Until 9:00.
Okay, bye-bye.
Hey, you might want to give that a little more oomph.
I'm sorry. It's just a crappy day, you know?
Yeah, I know.
[ telephone rings ]
Every day's a celebration at Joe's Party Depot!
All right, split the difference.
Yes, sir, we got all kind of piñatas. 9:00.
Maybe -- maybe you should answer the phones.
Sure.
All right, forget it.
Guys, listen. I didn't want to fire Carlos.
You got to make unpopular decisions.
You know -- you know, I hate to say it,
but part of the reason you guys even have a job still
is 'cause Carlos doesn't, okay?
That's capitalism.
Yeah, that sucks, right, but you got a better idea?
Oh, hey.
Hi.
Sorry to pop by like this,
but you're picking Albert up after golf practice tomorrow,
so I packed some of his stuff for the weekend.
Oh, all right. Great.
We need to talk.
All right.
[ sighs ]
So, Albert told me your bookie stopped by
when he was over.
Really, seriously, that's what you're coming all the way over here for?
Don't lie to me, Joe.
This isn't about you. This is about Albert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know.
And -- and, yes, that was my bookie,
because I was paying off the last of my debt,
like I told you.
I'm through with all that crap.
Really?
Yeah, really.
Did you tell him about the gambling thing,
Because I thought we said we weren't gonna involve the kids in any of that?
I didn't tell him anything, but he's not a baby.
I'm sure he's figured it out.
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm sure --
Look, look, the whole point of you buying that house
was to help Albert get over his anxiety issues.
And we had a great weekend!
Until your bookie showed up!
That was a one-time thing!
It better be, because if you're gonna have
those kind of people hanging around your house,
then we're gonna have a serious talk
about the whole visitation arrangement.
Now, wait -- wait a minute!
That -- if -- if I knew the guy was coming over when Albert was there,
you think I would've let him come over?
Oh, so it was a surprise visit
from the one-time-only guy who you then paid off for good?
That's the end of it, Sonia, okay?
That's the end of it, so don't --
You really think you're fooling everybody. You're not.
(Elissa) ♪ mi so fa so mi, oh ♪ [ water running ]
♪ ma ma ma ba ba ba bum ♪
♪ la la la la la la la ♪
♪ la hmm ♪
♪ da da dum dum ba ba ba ba ♪
♪ la la la la la la la ♪
[ clears throat ]
♪ la ♪
Got your coffee.
Oh, you were gone so long. Everything all right?
Yeah, I had to go to a new place to get your order.
Oh. [ giggles ] sorry.
Mm. But thanks!
[ sighs ]
[ water gurgling ]
Shit!
Oh! Oh! Poo in the shower!
[ grunts ] Come on.
Come on, you son of a bitch.
God.
[ water gurgling ]
Geez.
[ sighs ]
[ cellphone rings ]
[ sighs ]
Who is this?
Bobby. Hey, it's Terry.
Tea bag, what's up?
Did I catch you at a bad time? No, no, no.
We're just hanging out. What's up, tea bag?
I'll make it quick. I just had a thought.
You know, what if -- what if I came up there
and helped you guys rewrite that script?
Oh.
Yeah, you know,
I've been going over the draft that you gave me,
and I come up with a bunch of great ideas and made some notes and --
You know what?
The guy that we have on this is good, man.
I really -- he's just done a lot of good shit.
You know, I trust him.
Yeah, okay, well, you know,
just -- just gave it a shot.
Yeah. You know what, tea bag?
Since I got you on the phone,
my accountant just called today, uh, you know what I mean?
And, well, apparently I am spending
way too much freakin' money.
And they want me to reel it way in
if I don't want to be pulling an MC Hammer, right?
So they -- yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be able
to bring you in on this next thing like I thought, you know?
Sorry -- and besides,
Dex, you know -- he told me that he's gonna step up
and actually, you know, do the stuff that you were doing,
So you'd be kind of redundant, you know what I mean?
But believe me,
I will do everything I can to bring you in on this.
It's just not gonna be this one, all right?
Future, who knows, right?
Right, dawg?
Yeah, dawg.
All right, you take it easy, buddy, all right?
I got to -- I got to go.
Yeah, dawg.
[ water gurgling ]
Oh, no. No.
No, no. No, no, no, no.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on. No, no, no, no.
Ah!
[ footsteps ]
[ knock on door ] Busy, chief?
[ chuckles ] You're the chief.
I'm the chief emeritus.
No, no, no, you will always and forever be the chief.
But listen, I have a couple of ideas
I'd like to bounce off you, if it's okay.
Shoot.
All right. All right, hey.
So, um, I was thinking we need a few more bullets
in the gun for the sales team,
you know, incentives and whatnot,
to entice new customers
and get some things going on the service side.
So, what if we start providing free car wash and auto detailing
during scheduled service appointments,
you know, but really mean it.
You know how most shops promise free detailing,
but they never freakin' deliver.
I'm saying we do it...
Uh, because, as you know,
customer satisfaction on the service side
leads to customer satisfaction on the sales side.
It's fine, son.
I'll consider that, mm-hmm.
Okay. Okay, um...I actually have a few more ideas.
That's -- that's fine.
Yeah.
O-okay, when you have time.
Yeah.
Thank you.
[ sighs ]
Tell you something --
this whole place is gonna keep going right into the crapper
unless that old fart steps out of my way
and lets me do my thing.
What is your thing?
Know what my thing is?
You're fired.
So why don't you pack up all your little midget belongings
and get out?
Anybody else?
[ sighs ]
Really?
Hey, I'll get us some popcorn.
What do you want? You want a soda?
Yeah, I'll take orange, but, here, I'll come with you.
No, no, you got to save the seats.
I'll be right back, all right?
Oh, and butter. Butter.
Right.
[ sighs ]
Hey. Hey, it's me.
All right, I got to do this quick.
Give me, um -- give me Chicago and the over for $500.
Yeah.
No, no, yeah, and then -- what?
Are you there? You're breaking up.
Oh, shit.
[ sighs ]
Yeah, yeah. No, I lost you.
All right, Chicago over, $500. You got that?
Give me, um -- give me Atlanta,
$500, with the points.
Yeah. What's the over-under on Miami?
Give me the under.
Give me $2,500 on the under.
Yeah, $20 -- no, $2,500, yeah.
All right, I got to go. I'm at a movie.
Well, I don't know. I haven't seen it yet.
All right, I'll see you later.
Whoa. Um, ticket?
My -- my ticket's inside. I'm already inside.
I'm sorry. I can't let you in without a ticket.
I bought a -- I'm sorry, but I can't let you in.
[ sighs ]
(Woman) Hi.
All right, thanks.
[ sighs ]
[ breathing heavily ]
Hey, Albert, what's up, buddy?
Where were you?
You were gone for so long, I started to get shaky, you know?
Oh, I'm -- I'm sorry.
They -- they were out of the popcorn.
Listen, I'm here.
Let's go. It's -- it's all good, right?
Dad, I don't feel like it, dad.
Can we just go home? I just want to go home, please?
If you want, but, I mean, we should try, maybe.
I'm sorry, dad.
I really wanted to see that movie.
No, it's okay, Albert. You know.
We talked about this. It's -- it's just anxiety.
Happens to everybody.
I tried the breathing thing, you know.
I-I got shaky, and I tried the breathing thing.
It's all right. It's no big deal, Albert.
Come on, we'll go see that movie any day,
any time you want.
[ voice breaking ] Are you embarrassed of me?
What? No.
No. Embarrassed?
Albert, I -- I couldn't...
I told you this happens to a lot of people.
No, it doesn't.
It's weird, and I'm weird.
And I know I cause a lot of trouble for you, and --
No, Albert. Stop it. Stop it.
Oh, son of a bitch.
[ sighs ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm just mad.
I'm mad at the damn... popcorn.
And I'm mad. I'm mad you got to go through this.
And it's -- it's not fair.
Embarrassed? No, man, no, never.
I'm never embarrassed, Albert.
You're my hero.
I mean that.
You're doing great, man. I'm proud of you.
Thanks, dad.
Yeah.
Taking a break, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, forever, actually.
I should have known something was up
when you asked me to come over in the morning, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.
Well, good for you, Joe.
You know, I got guys quitting every week,
And they're always full of shit.
But you, Joe -- you may actually have a shot.
Well, thanks.
Probably not. You'll probably be back.
but just the fact that I think you got a shot --
That's a huge compliment.
All right, well, thanks, man.
Listen, I got to -- I'm meeting a guy.
You got my number, right? Don't throw it out.
Yeah, I'm not gonna, like -- no, no, no, no.
Not for gambling, Joe, for who knows?
Golf, chinese food,
take a stripper to the circus -- who knows?
[ chuckles ]
Yeah, I got your number.
Stay weird, Joe.
Hey, uh, why don't you go out -- got to go out that way.
Yeah. Yeah.
[ sighs ]
Hello there, sir.
Hello, sir.
Buenos días.
Yeah, good to have you back. Here you go.
Saved that for you. Gracias.
If Kobe keeps playing the way he's playing
for the rest of his career, he's gonna end up ahead of Jordan.
(Owen) Well, nobody's better than Jordan.
That's just something that's stuck in everybody's head. I mean...
Is that you're Dad?
How about a test drive, son?
So, aren't you gonna tell me
about the Malibu's impressive fuel economy?
Well, I was gonna drive past a few imports and point out how it beats each one.
Then I'd throw in how it beats them on the warranty, too.
Yeah, I guess you could do it that way.
[ chuckles ] What are we doing here, daddy?
[ sighs ]
I'd like to offer you a job, son.
Um, that's fine,
But I've found a home here at Scarpulla.
You really can't blame me
for handing the reins over to Marcus.
Let's not pretend you've always been this motivated.
Okay. Yeah. That's fair, okay?
Mm-hmm.
I haven't always put 110% into the job. Good.
And there's a simple reason for that, and you know what it is.
No, no.
I always had my own dream.
And that's nothing against you. That's just my own thing.
But it shouldn't be that hard to understand
because... you got yours.
As a matter of fact, you got it twice --
The NBA, then the dealership.
So, look, I wanted my own dream,
and I ended up inside one of yours.
So, at some point,
having to settle for being the boss' son --
It just --
But could you settle for being the boss?
Uh, possibly.
Don't mull over this too long.
I'm interested. Um, I'm interested.
But, um, I got to ask. Mm-hmm?
Why?
Now, don't get me wrong. Marcus is a winner.
But having him there in the office,
me running things together with him --
Look, that's just not how I pictured it.
Okay.
Good.
What are you gonna do about Marcus?
Hell, that's the boss' problem.
[ both chuckle ]
[ Ides of March's "Vehicle" plays ]
♪ well, I'm your friendly stranger in the black sedan ♪
♪ won't you hop inside my car? ♪
Please get new music.
♪ got pictures, got candy, I'm a lovable man ♪
♪ take you to the nearest star ♪ don't forget your part.
I'm not doing it. ♪ I'm your vehicle, baby ♪ oh, you got to do it.
♪ I'll take you anywhere you want to go ♪ no, you do it.
♪ your vehicle, mama ♪ no, we're a team. Do it.
♪ by now I'm sure you know ♪ this song sucks.
♪ I love you ♪ you got to do it.
Not doing it. ♪ need you ♪ got to do it.
♪ I want you, got to have you, child ♪
Take it.
♪ great God in heaven, you know I love you ♪
Yeah.
♪ oh, you know I do -- ♪ [ radio clicks off ]
Okay, where the hell is Terry?
Oh, hey.
♪ do do do, do do do do ♪
Oh, shit. That's the fantasy woman.
Oh, be cool.
Oh, that's her? Well, say something, man.
No, no.
She single? Think so.
Well, you're single. What's the problem?
Hygienist still in the picture?
I don't know, maybe. It's -- I don't know.
Well, then, let's go.
We're gonna pass right by her. Hey, hey, Terry.
Okay. All right, forget him.
Let's go. Here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're saying something. Yeah, yeah.
I'm almost 50. What am I waiting for, right?
Nothing to lose. Got that right. Okay, here we go.
Loving those balloons, huh?
♪ fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me ♪
Are you crazy?
What?
W-why would you say that to a woman?
She came in the store for balloons a while ago.
She doesn't remember that.
She thinks you're some crazy guy yelling at her tits.
She remembers it. She came in two times.
[ scoffs ] She has to remember it. What?
[ cellphone rings ]
Whoa. Look who got a cellphone.
[ chuckles ]
Who called you, Planned Parenthood?
You asking for a bulk rate?
What's that mean?
You know, him, women.
Man, you're way off today.
Hello?
Tea bag.
Rusty. Aw, man. How you doing?
I'm good, man. Hey, listen.
I'm running out with the boys,
but Bobby wanted me to call you.
He said that you wrote down a bunch of notes about the script?
Yes.
Could you e-mail those to me?
Or you could fax them, you know.
I mean, I forgot that you're -- that you're old school.
Actually, you know what?
I think, um -- I think there's a way
I can send them right from my phone.
Oh, that'd be great, man.
(Owen) Whoa!
What the hell, man?
What's going on, man? What's wrong?
I'm 49 years old, and I spent the last two days
trying to get shit out of my hair, for starters.
Well, what do you -- what do you mean, shit or stuff?
Shit, actual shit,
The kind that comes out of your ass, Joe.
It was in your hair?
Oh, man, your hair was in my car.
You know what?
Screw it. Screw this. Screw hiking.
It's all bullshit. This is all bullshit.
Uh, okay, I-I don't know what happened,
but, you know, you're taking this kind of hard, man.
Oh, no, I promise you -- promise you -- I'm not.
It's been 30 years -- 30.
You know -- you know, acting, it's like you reach --
At a certain point, it's just did you make it or not?
And I...Not.
Everybody's like, "oh, don't give up on your dream, Terry."
[ chuckles ] You know?
What would have been so bad if I hadn't, huh?
You know, I-I could've gone back to school.
I could've learned a-a trade or something.
I'd be all right.
And now we're at this place in our lives,
and we've -- we've come all this way,
and I got nothing to show for it.
You got something.
And you -- and you got something.
What? Families, careers.
I-I don't know.
I mean, just because I'm the boss doesn't mean --
I mean -- families suck.
Right?
[ scoffs ] Families.
[ chuckles ]
[ sighs ]
Oh, boy.
[ chuckles ] Families.
[ sighs ]
Hey, you know, uh...
I don't know if this helps,
but the other day, I was --
I googled the word "happy,"
And all these quotes came up.
Whoa, hold on, you -- you googled the word "happy"?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I did.
What, were you looking for porn?
No. What?
Why would I put in "happy" if I'm looking for porn?
I don't know -- maybe you were just trying to sneak your way there.
Okay, just shut up for a second.
Anyway, these quotes came up,
and it was all different people, you know,
and there was this one from this Pastor Allan Chalmers guy.
I don't know. It just kind of stuck with me.
Here's what it was.
He said, um, the grand essentials of happiness
are something to do, something to love,
something to hope for.
How do you whack off to that?
[ laughter ]
Yeah, okay, dicklets.
I'm trying to help here.
Okay, look, I agree, you know.
He's right, you know -- the only thing you need
is to find something else that you're good at.
I was actually saying the opposite of that. I think he's getting real now, okay? Okay?
So loving what you're doing is great.
But you know what's also great?
Just doing something that you're good at.
And that's where you're full of shit,
because there are a million things that you could do.
Yeah, you know, I was getting real, too.
I just was talking about hope.
You didn't let me finish. I'd like to make my point.
Guys, guys, okay.
I get it, okay? I get -- I get -- I get all of it.
Look, who am I kidding?
I'm never gonna not want to be an actor.
I'm too much in love with myself.
[ laughter ]
But, you know, it's...
time to try something else.
What?
I don't know.
Acting -- what are the skills there?
You -- you learn how to talk, how to move,
how to pretend to be somebody else,
how to make everybody love you.
You know what I am?
I'm a professionally charming person.
What the hell do you do with that?
[ chuckles ]
Hey, good morning. Owen!
[ cheers and applause ]
Thank you. Thank you.
Hey. Yeah!
GM's back, and so am I.
Yeah. Hey, good to see you.
Mm. Okay, okay, everybody.
We got a lot of work to do here.
I wanted to introduce you to the new guy.
His name is Terry.
Keep an eye on all your customers,
because he is professionally charming.
[ laughter ]
Okay, everybody take a seat, because, um...
... here we go.
Just keep your head down.
Whoa, there you go.
Man, you're killing it today.
Dad, can I drive?
Uh...
Yeah, we're far enough away.
Go ahead.
Go for it.
Don't go nuts, now.
Hey, I want to tell you something.
Um...I lied to you about the bookie
And about the gambling.
I'm -- I'm real sorry about that.
Oh.
It's okay, dad.
No, no, not okay.
I wanted to be truthful with you, and I wasn't,
and I don't ever want to be like that with you.
So you're gonna stop gambling?
Stopped already.
Good.
Yeah. It is good.
You know what?
Something else I want to tell you,
while we're being honest with each other.
You know how I'm always talking
about trying out for the senior tour?
Well, I'm gonna do it.
Really? Yeah.
Dad, that's awesome.
Yeah, well, if I make it, it's awesome --
Even if I don't, but mostly if I do.
It'll be awesome no matter what. [ chuckles ]
[ Ides of March's "Vehicle" plays ]
Ugh. Really? Ugh?
What, are you off the bandwagon already?
I didn't say it was gonna be easy.
I think you hit a duck.
There's no ducks in there. Go.
♪ love you ♪ ♪ well, you know I love you ♪
♪ need you ♪ ♪ need you ♪
♪ I want you, I got to have you ♪
-- Sync, corrected by elderman -- -- for www.addic7ed.Com --